Whenever you post a comment on a forum or a youtube video that defiles the English language a kitten dies. Please think of the kittens. They're tiny balls of cuteness and fluff that have done nothing to deserve a swift end because you failed First Grade English. Please be aware that this list and/or rant does NOT apply to people for whom English is a second language. Let's face it, most of them spell and type better than native speakers anyway. Alas, let us take a moment to list some of the things that defile poor old English.
Tom's List of English Defiling Mistakes:
- Bad Grammar
- Poor Spelling
- Poor Punctuation/NO Punctuation
- Improper Capitalization
- Thinking shorthand and "leet" speak are actually clever
Examples are shown to be but not restricted to being:- Not knowing how possessives work
- Not knowing the difference between there/their/they're
- Not knowing the difference between you're/your
- Not knowing that "a lot" is two words
- Misspelling every other word
- Forgetting to capitalize everything except proper nouns
- Not using commas, periods, or quotations; also misuse of the ellipses (...)
- Typing liek u have been lobotomized w/ a rsty spoon
Now some of you might say that it's just easier to use shorthand typing or not worry about grammar and spelling because it's the Internet and everyone types like they're hamsters on crack. It, however, is NOT okay to type like you're a hyperactive rodent on recreational drugs. It's stupid, it makes you look like a retard, and nobody will take you seriously. Others might say they do it to be ironic or witty. Well guess what cupcake, it's neither ironic nor is it witty. It again makes you look like a douche who failed primary school, is mentally handicapped, or eats lead based paint chips. It's also a very lazy thing to do. If your mental faculties are pushed to the limits by typing a three letter word one of two things is happening. Either you're reaching a new level of evolution and slowly forgetting how to spell because you're gaining telepathy or you're dumber than a rock and need to go back to kindergarten.
I know it's the Internet. I know people are lazy bastards. I also know that some people think they're being clever. Alas, onwards to the point of this sarcasm and venom laced rant. If you have an opinion you want to voice on something, try to do it in an intelligent manner. Don't type like you're an autistic chimp or a rabbit on speed hopping across a keyboard. Especially if you want to be taken seriously. The most response you'll get from typing like that is ridicule.
Now let me take a moment to point out that I'm aware this long winded post on the spelling habits of the majority the Internet is itself probably filled with a few grammar and/or punctuation mistakes. The subtle irony of that happen is not lost on me. I figure I'd just take away one of the few ways you could get your knickers in a twist and yell at me in the comments.
