BREAKING NEWS! Scissors taste like pain!

"Curtis Francis, who suffers from learning difficulties which affect his sense of danger, escaped with the minor injury after he put the scissors down his throat handle first when his mother's back was turned."

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1326687/Curtis-Francis-swallows-scissors-suffers-just-minor-cuts.html#ixzz14YMX6925

DISCLAIMER: The following paragraph of rant may offend you. If it does, that's not my problem. 

NOTICE: Lack of sense of danger does NOT equate into a lack of common sense

INQUIRY: Who the hell even begins to think that swallowing scissors is a good idea?

RELEVANT: Seriously, who the hell eats scissors?

Firstly, I feel a special desire to mention this:

 "The incident occurred on August 11 when Karon went to put the kettle on at their home in Bristol and left her son alone." If, as stated above in the opening quote, your child has learning difficulties and no sense of danger, leaving them alone is probably one of the dumber things you can do. Especially if they have easy access to something dangerous like say, a pair of friggen scissors. That being said, we now begin your regularly scheduled ranting.

All I can really say, and this will make me sound like a jerk, is what the hell. I realize that he has learning difficulties, the part I quoted even says it, but having an affected sense of danger should in no way make you lose all of your common sense. I also realize that since he has no sense of danger (it's said he doesn't in the article) that crap will happen. Now it's not stated that his learning difficulties affect his grasp of reality and that sticking sharp things into one of your orifices is BAD, so I feel I can safely say either his folks never learned him that sharp things only go in bad people and not yourself. There's not much else I can say without being a total jerk, but that's not stopped me before. I'm speaking from the standpoint of having helped raise a child and having been learned by my own parents that, gasp, eating pointy objects or sticking them into yourself is so bad that if you do you will first and foremost be told you are a bloody idiot. You'd get help but you'd get belittled the entire time. 

Mind you all I'm glad the situation ended okay. I may be sarcastic but I'm not always sarcastic...only most of the time.

Below, a message from SmarmInc to you!

Dear parents,

If ever you have or will have a child with a learning disability, it is your job as the parent to make sure they stay safe. That means you bloody teach them that sharp things are dangerous and should not be ingested. That goes doubly if your child is like the one in the article and has no sense of danger. 

Sincerely,

SmarmInc